Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
