For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I think I just sharted jello shots
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