get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
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