i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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