i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
