The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
