Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just had sex on a roof
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
