She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My penis needs a shock collar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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