I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
