can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
