Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
