A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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