Christians are straight up FREAKS
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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