Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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