Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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