so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize