I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
