My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize
