You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
