Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
