no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
