Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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