Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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