Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need moral support for this bender
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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