That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
