So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
