I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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