I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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