Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
