i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
