genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
