Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
