I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
