you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
