I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
