Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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