hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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