Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
