she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I touched a dick in church today
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
