just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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