You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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