Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
