I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
