i jhust puked up my retainher.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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