Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
