so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
