The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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