love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
