I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
