so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize