Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I need to align my fucking chakras
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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