I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
