I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
