Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
