We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize