but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
