do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize