Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
