I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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