Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
