I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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