Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
