I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
