How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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