9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
